i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
