I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
