I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
