i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
