Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
I did not marry a roomba.
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