**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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