dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
