no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
My vagina is very pro this idea
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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