don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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