I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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