can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
