Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
