So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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