she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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