did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The feeling are messing with the penis
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
