your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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