If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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