WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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