roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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