There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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