i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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