you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
