the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Shame - the story of my life.
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