Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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