maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
