You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
