I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
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