Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
i need some magic done to my vagina
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
