it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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