there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
