but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
