btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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