i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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