id be glad to
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize