It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
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