32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
