Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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