D3 body, D1 cock
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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