He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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