North Korea, Best Korea!
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Randomize
