Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
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