My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
