Please don't use social media to get back at me.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Randomize
