The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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