EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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