My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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