no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Randomize
