Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
