he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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