There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Never underestimate the power of titties
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
