Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
