So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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