we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I forget how to act sober
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
