dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
