Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
