it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
