We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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