two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
