The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
