She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
